Chapter 3

It made my confidence abbreviated in front of my physics teacher to get third position, though he was happy but still I was somewhere not settled with myself. As usual we all were sitting in our gang in front rows of the class, busy with hitting on the chicks who were sitting just next to us.

‘It’s time to have some fun.’ Abhishek interupted the fun raising his voice a little high.

‘What fun are you looking for?’ Aman got excited.

‘Let’s compete.’ he was continuously showing his teeth and he blushed too.

Are you doing any ad of Colgate or something, showing those bright white teeth or you want to let someone down for their pale teeth like me as some bit of food might have still stuck between my canines.

‘What’s the catch?’ Harshit asked.

‘Who manages early to find a girlfriend.’ He laughed and vomitted this shit.

‘No way! This is a shit, not a competition.’ I shouted out. I already knew I was gonna lose that one too.

It is better to fix a defense mechanism before something could hit me again. How many loses I have to see this year, oh gawwd, not again.

Everyone agreed. I was left with no other option to decline their arguments no matter how many defenses I tried to pull to save myself while I was upset inside for gonna lose this one too and had already anticipated the results.

‘We will engage them in relationships with the girls they choose and we will crawl away from this bullshit.’ Harshit whispered in my ear.

We both started laughing as we wanted to abstain from these things. As we agreed for the competition, Abhishek and Aman started nautching and hawling. Me and Harshit started watching their nautching like a bar dancer which would literally had turned them to strip their selves if that was not a class and it burst our laugh. They were dancing like anything and were catching everyone’s attention. The chubby tummy of Abhishek floated like waves which made me very abhor and I stood up to go outside.

Two days passed been busy in attending lectures. In the free lecture, Harshit came to me and said, ‘Do something for Abhishek.’

‘What?’ I asked but gave him no look ignoring him while managing my notes and shuffling in a proper way to put them back inside the bag which I had just bought the very last day, a black one, perfect for a handsome guy like me which suits exactly with the smooth skin of mine.

Self love is the best one to satisfy yourself when no girl around you lays her eyes on your body which is dying to get laid as soon as possible. Believe me, puberty is very danger.

‘He likes Deepika. He wanna talk to her.’ He murmurs.

‘What are you saying! You’re insane, I mean really? Like really?’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes, don’t you know?’

‘No I didn’t.’ What version of Abhishek is he who I hadn’t yet seen that could even fall for girls, I made a pumpkin face and smacked on Harshit’s head.

‘Are you into Deepika?’ I whispered in Abhishek’s ear, puzzled, if it was real or Harshit had molded some nonsense story on his own to get on my nerves.

‘Who told you this?’ The notebook from his grip slipped down as if I had given him a shock of enough voltage to chill him up from tip to toe.

‘Answer me first.’ I raised my eyebrows.

‘Yes. But please don’t tell anybody’ He bent to pick up the notes which had already flown away far from his desk by the air of the fan. He felt shy and turned red.

This is how people poke me to tell everyone.

‘It is not must to mention not to tell anyone like I am gonna make you the talk of the town.’ I acted fierce.

The bell rung and we went for our biology lecture in the lab. I and Harshit had occupied the last benches of the lab. ‘Deepika! Deepika!’ I shouted out.

She answered ‘Yes Aadi?’

‘I wanted to have a word with you. Can you please come over here?’ I asked in a respected manner.

‘Ya sure.’ She came to us and sat down.

‘Please don’t take us wrong in anyway but can you be friends with Abhishek? He really likes you.’ I asked degrading my voice a little bit.

‘I am sorry but I already have a boyfriend.’ She denied the proposal.

‘But…’ I was about to say something but she interrupted ‘Sorry Aadi.’ She returned to her seat. ‘I don’t want to aberrate’ she cleared before leaving our benches.

May be I made a wrong move, I should not had talked to her on this matter but a guy like Abhishek was more coward than me and Harshit. There was nothing left to talk to her anyway anymore as the point was all clear that she was having some affairs with somebody else already.

When Abhishek came to know about that, he felt crossed in love. We felt like we had abstracle his heart. We said ’Sorry yar..!’ But apologies don’t work when someone is crossed in love, you need to go through the same to feel the same.

‘No it’s okay. You’re not at fault. So don’t be sorry’ he became silent.

Some days later...

It was recess and I was with no stuff as always so I was already settled with Aman and Shivani, having lunch and snatching some tortilla from their lunch boxes.

‘Come with me, come with me! I will show you’ Harshit ran towards me, panting heavenly. He slipped under the desk and hit his head badly as he couldn’t decelerate his speed while running to me but still okay with flashing his white teeth and rubbing his head.

‘Watch out, what a moron! You okay?’ I asked.

‘Come fast. I show you. She is coming.’ He held my wrist in a hurry and dragged me. I went with him to the staircase lacking my interest.

‘She is that girl.’ He pointed towards a girl.

‘What a sexy girl! Oh gawwd her boobs man, shit!’ I drooled and the saliva from the corner of my mouth could be seen by anyone. I was surprised to see her and my interest came back. Something inside my trouser tried to lift but then I controlled urges.

‘She is Mitali. Please do something. I want to propose her’ he barked at me.

‘Okay okay! Fine, I do something.’ I was amazed to see him fell in love. I told him to bring a chocolate the next day.

‘Why?’ he fused.

‘You should propose her with a long heavy chocolate’ I answered. Boys those days were not enough brave to bring a bouquet in the school escaping from others eyes so I suggested him chocolate.

I was still agape to see her. I was constantly looking at her with my rapist eyes. The way her body propelled her downward the stairs, propelled my hands to grasp her butts, the heavy one I had seen in a while.

‘Don’t look at her with your addle eyes.’ He shouted out.

I felt him ablaze. I called her blonde.

‘What the fuck are you gazing at?’ he was angry.

It was hard to bear for him to be alone without her for a single second. He was about to abduct her. He seemed to be. If it was not him, I would already had taken her to the back of the school and shoved inside her behind the bushes.

Yeah, I can’t but fantasizing about hot chicks is satisfactory too. Teenagers like us have that urge flowing in our veins.

I started expatiating him my ideas to propose her. He was very shy. I was too but he was a bit more. But still he looked like bravado. We were discussing about her. We were far away from our lecture room as our class was already started and no one could be seen there. We could see the principal coming towards us and we abscond to our class. The class got dismissed and I was free to return to my home.

‘Bye bro, see you tomorrow.’ Harshit cried out.

‘Sure we will. Bye. But don’t forget the chocolate bro.’ I replied waving my hand towards him.

What will happen the very next day? I kept on thinking. I started dozing in a while. My eyes began to flip and I went into my dreams gradually.

v   

I was late for the school. Actually I slept very late the last night. I was in a hurry. ‘I will be late’ I was telling myself to hurry. I took a short shower and left my home without having my breakfast. The same happened. I was standing in the line of late comers. I didn’t attend my morning tuition. The sports coordinator was using his cross language on me. ‘Do you even have any shame or not? You are a captain. How can you be this irresponsible?’ I chose to be quite. At last I was allowed to go inside my class.

‘Where were you? Why didn’t you attend the morning tuition class? Shivani whispers to me eagerly waiting for me to answer her back.

‘Keep your mouth shut!’ Dr. Barthwal scolded her.

‘I was late for the tuition’ I whispered back. I was in a hurry to put out my physics notebook from my bag but then my eyes met Harshit. He was looking out constantly.

‘What is wrong with you?’ I asked him reading his eyes instantly which were holding something that was not letting him focus in the class.

‘Nothing’ he nodded his head.

‘What did she say?’ I got excited.

No answer by him. I again asked ‘What about Mitali?’ again no answer. A drop of tear escaped his eyes and wet his notebook and a terror ran inside me giving me goosebumps, I felt a bit scary.

‘What could have happened?’ I asked myself. I could see the sorrow dispersing out his little eyes. He was about to cry.

‘Sir I have to go to washroom. May I please leave?’ I shouted out for permission.

‘Keep your butts down on the chair, it’s the very first lecture and it has started just a while ago and you urge to go outside.’ He threw the chalk and I moved my body to let the chalk pass by my side.

‘Please sir, I can’t hold it anymore’ I placed my hands on my zip and started creating a mini scene.

‘Okay, Okay, you little Drama, you may leave.’ He kept busy expatiating the derivations on the board.

I took Harshit and reached washroom as early as I could. ‘What happened to you bro? Why are you making your face too much. What did she say? Tell me please’ I seemed to be worried.

‘She said she is already seeing someone.’ He cried out with a lot of tears.

I hugged him and gave him patience, ‘Okay, okay! No harm has been done.’ I started calming him.

‘You can get better then her. She was not even your type. You can look for someone better from the scratch’ I said to him. I felt very sad. We both felt blank.

‘Try to discern please’ I was continuously trying to make him out of the situation.

‘Look at me, you are discrete. I will find a better one for you.’ He continued to cry and sob. It made me to say, ‘If you don’t stop it, I am leaving.’

I was already dying single myself, being virgin, and was clamming to get him a girl and fix his broken heart which was broken by a girl who had no idea about him even if he existed or not in this world just before this morning.

‘Please don’t go, I am okay’ he cried more.

‘So keep calm and get over her.’ He fetched some water in his palm and drizzled into his eyes and over his face.

Now he looked like earlier. He smiled and asked to join the class. I was able to persuade him and we went back to our lectures.

v   

For a couple of days he remained quite but then he returned to his earlier life, irritating, getting on my nerves, and fucking my mind over nonsense stuffs that gave me no interest but that was fine as long as he was not sad for any longer. We had bunked our physics lecture and were seeking some fun in the corridors. We heard the noise of bell ringing and we ran through the stairs to go into our class. The lecture was over and it was time for the lunch break.

‘Have your wits gone for wool gathering?’ Tanya shouted on us.

‘What?’ we asked separately.

‘Why don’t you both attend the classes?’

‘Physics is not made for us, we can’t fix our mind in the class so it is more fun to bunk it.’ We started laughing.

‘Your fun will be nibbled if Mr. Barthwal comes to know about this.’ She tried to make us guilty. But we were shameless. Her each word seemed to be brackish while she went to her seat by saying ‘Change yourself and your luck will change.’ We were totally pesterized by her.

As like always, I and Harshit were snatching breads from other girls. Everyone else used to bring lunch box except the two of us. They never got pissed by sharing their food. We were trenchermates. We didn’t hesitate to eat ort foods. It was the best friend circle I could ever have had. Sapna came to me after finishing the lunch.

‘Who is that lucky girl?’ She knew how to pull out talks from someone so she gave me an intense look.

‘Which girl?’ I asked too surprisingly.

‘The girl you like!’

‘I like you…just a joke’ I gave a weird smile.

I really like you. I wish you take it seriously and let me sneak inside your bed jumping inside your room from the window at mid night so we could have more fun and negotiate who do we like actually while making little and cute babies.

She hit on my head ‘Stop talking nonsense.’ She started askancing me. ‘Tell me please, I will keep it a secret.’

That intense look suddenly changed into a pleading one, begging to answer her question that I had almost answered but she did never believe and took and swayed away like a false talk.

‘I like Tanya’ I again made a prank just to get rid of the topic.

‘Alright’ she went back to sit on her bench.

But I liked Sapna. I found her one of the hottest girls of my school. She was tall about 5 feet 6 inches, almost equal to me. The color of her eyes resembled the color of ocean. Her hair was long and soft. She was sexy. Her breasts looked awesome. Her waist was totally killer. She was very hot like the American blonds. I wanted to propose her but I was scared a bit to lose her as a friend too. I felt shy. ‘What if she rejects me?’ This made me more scared. No one knew except Harshit that I liked her that badly. Even I had written a couplet for her when I firstly saw her.

Is she a fay?

Who doesn’t come in day.

Who has fixed wings tight,

And only comes in night.

Mesmerize to see her,

She is totally like a deer,

There is only one clue

Her eyes are sea blue.

Her hair is like cotton,

Which makes my breathe forgotten

I feel my heart beats confused,

And my blood pressure reduced.

Is she a fay?

Who doesn’t come in day…

Even I dreamt kissing her those days. She got me abject. I did not want to study or to do any work. I just used to see her everywhere in everything. The nights were insomniac for me. But later on I had stopped having  infatuations with her less often, I had a lot of control over myself. But I mug up the early dreams. They rushed over my head all over the way I had a secret crush on her. I felt awesome to kiss her in my dreams those days. I can’t explain those feelings. I never told her about the way I felt for her but perhaps she was aware by my behavior. I got stuck on gazing her sometimes. I could say nothing about what would happen to my love story. But still there was only one thing which I used to ask myself all the time..“Will she be mine?”

I didn’t want to butt in her affairs. She liked Rupesh, a junior from our faculty on whom she was crushing for long. Did she? I was confused. He looked like a clown, with half wits. I was more handsome than him I guess. But the point was she liked him and not me. Love is blind, so was she. Well, she was happy with him and that’s the end of my first love story.

Though I never loved her, I guess so as love has a different meaning but yes, I had a huge crush on her.